Saving Toby Deleted Scenes
This is the original opening I wrote for Saving Toby. In the first chapter, I had him living in Florida. Enjoy!
PREFACE
We heard the first few chirps of the police car just as its headlights hit us.
Without exchanging any words, we all took off. Sprinting out from behind the bank, I ran across the street and ducked behind a large hedge bordering the property of a nearby house. As soon as the cruiser shot by, I was back on the road. In the stillness of the frosty night, the pounding of my footsteps echoed off the blacktop up and down the street. Cutting through the grounds of the old junior high, I headed north up Greeley Avenue. The starless March sky concealed my flight. Passing the apartment complex, a dog’s menacing bark startled me and I picked up speed.
My lungs were on fire, and still I was dying for a cigarette. As I swiped a sleeve across my bloody lip, I felt the angry swelling of the skin under my eye. Almost clear.
Crossing over Willett Avenue, I prowled through my neighbors yard, and saw them through their den window. The whole family was sitting around a television. I simultaneously hated and was fascinated by their constant togetherness. “Stepford family,” I muttered then hopped the chain link fence that separated our properties. Just as I landed, a foot kicked out my knees and I pitched forward landing with a heavy thud face-first into the frozen, dead grass of my own backyard.
My friend, Devlin Black had beaten me back to the house. He hunkered over me, laughing. “Gotcha.”
Sucking air, I stood up and spit out a mouthful of dirt, wiping the frost from my jeans. “Yeah, you got me asshole. I owe you one.”
Dev rolled to his feet. He was like a tugboat — wide, tight and built for hauling big objects. “Damn cops. I was about to take that kid out.”
“I landed a few decent blows before they came,” I gloated proudly. “We pretty much finished them.”
We’d been tearing it up with a couple of guys from the next town over. It had started because Dev had mouthed off — an ethnic slur set them off. He was always pissing people off. It was such an everyday occurrence; I barely noticed the offensive comments anymore.
People often asked me how I could be his friend. It was simple. I liked to brawl. A good fistfight was like getting a good scrubbing. It cleared out all the muck that bogged me down and I felt lighter and unstuck afterwards.
“That freaking cop didn’t even chase us for long,” Dev carped.
“Dude, he can’t waste time chasing down a couple of local punks,” I said as I pulled out my cigarette pack. “Not when the two-for-one special over at Dunkin’ Donuts ends at midnight.”
Dev snorted.
Just then, someone switched on the deck light. Its glow illuminated us. A large figure was in the doorway.
Dev swore under his breath. “I’m outta here. You coming?”
I suppressed my unease, lit a Malboro and took a calming drag. “Nah, not tonight. Got stuff to do.”
“You coming to school tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I’m about to blow the minimum attendance requirement with my excessive absences,” I grumbled. “I have to wear that lame polyester cap and gown in June if I’m going to keep Julia happy.”
“High school sucks. Whoever invented it should be shot.” Dev stood up and grabbed the top rung of the fence. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” In one swift movement, he vaulted the fence.
For a moment I felt the urge to follow him. But I shook it off. I flicked the butt down, crushed it underfoot and made my way towards the house.
“What are you doing out there, shithead?” My brother scowled at me.
My night of fighting wasn’t over yet.
TOBY
Two Years Later…
Blondes weren’t really my thing but the one sitting on my lap was playing with my heart.
I had been strumming a few verses of “Nowhere Man,” on my guitar that morning when the sliding glass door off the kitchen opened as if by an invisible person. I smiled as little Madison, her white-blonde hair sticking up in all directions, came into view. Without a word, gliding across the floor like a small floating angel, the four-year old rounded the table and came to me.
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” I slid my guitar to the floor, freeing up my lap.
Madison crawled up and rested her warm head against my chest. She smelled like baby shampoo and that natural, sweet little kid scent.
Unable to sleep, I’d gotten up early and had been waiting out on the lanai for Joe to get up. Joe’s house was in Cape Harbour, a nice area of Cape Coral, Florida. It was a pretty amazing house, one that overlooked a lake. I’d been living with him and his family for six months — since he’d given me the job with his booming pool company. But already, in March, the humidity was a bitch. In the middle of the day, the overwhelming thickness could stifle the life out of even the toughest guy on the crew. It didn’t help that I didn’t particularly like the work either. Each day, I baked in the hot sun and after shoveling and moving sand around for eight hours; I left the site with about a pound of it clung to me — on my clothes, in my boots and even up the crack of my ass. But when it came down to it, when you didn’t have any outstanding skills, it was a job.
“Are you sad, Toby?” Madison’s voice, small and sleepy, cut through my funk. I wondered if all kids could just sense stuff like that.
“A little,” I said. “My mom’s sick and I have to go back home and take care of her.”
“Why doesn’t your daddy do that?”
“I don’t have a daddy,” I said expecting that she would ask why and I’d have to explain that he’d been dead for almost ten years. I was relieved when the door opened again and Joe stepped through.
Joe looked sternly at his daughter. “Maddie, you know you have to ask Mommy and Daddy before you come out here.”
“But Daddy, Toby is out here.” His daughter sat up and looked at him with bright eyes. “He takes care of me, too.”
She was too cute. I smiled. “And, I like taking care of you, but you should still listen to your Dad.”
“Okay.” She eyed me from under her thick eyelashes.
“Go watch cartoons,” Joe told her, and after I kissed the top of her head, she obediently slid off my lap and returned to the house. Once the door snapped shut, he turned to me. “I hate to admit it, but I think you have my little girl as well as half the older girls in the county in a hullabaloo around here.”
I squinted at him. “I’m not sure if I’m more insulted that you call my effect on women a ‘hullabaloo’ or that you say it’s only half the county.”
“Smug bastard,” Joe chuckled, but then as if remembering that there was something we needed to discuss, he frowned. “What’s the news with your mom?”
I stood up and ran a hand through my hair. We were almost eye-to-eye. Joe was about six foot. I was a bit taller. “Not good. Her counts are low. Doctors say the leukemia’s back.”
“Shit. Sorry, man,” he muttered. “Your poor mom. She can’t seem to catch a break.”
Joe, who I not only worked for, was an old family friend and knew of Julia’s frequent illnesses.
He also knew about her last go-round with the leukemia three years ago. That had been the only time my older brother, Al Junior, and I had ever been on the same page with anything. Together we’d stuck by Julia as she went through her treatments and then into remission. This time I would be on my own. Besides her older sister, there was no one else. My father, Big Al, as I called him, was dead and my brother Al, was in jail.
“As you’ve probably figured out already, I’ll have to go back to Long Island,” I said.
“I know you’ve always taken care of your mother in the past, but you could pay someone — there are companies that hire out home health aides, trained people who can look after her,” Joe said out of the blue. “You could afford to if you took that foreman position I’ve been talking to you about.”
I had hoped this wouldn’t come up. Even though Joe was a fair boss, and he’d been more than generous to let me stay in his home, I didn’t see myself staying.
I could have handled the discomforts and taken the promotion if only I didn’t feel the need to move on. A familiar shiftlessness had been building — the same one that had stirred me to leave home and go to Jersey and then onto Pennsylvania and then, finally here.
Moving to a new location was exciting, and for a while, I would settle in, get into the flow of the area and see if it fit me. I had a mode of operation. I rolled in, secured a job and a place to stay. And, as soon as I could, I’d round up a new co-worker or two to go out and party. I’d sample the local girls and find one to hook up with. Then I’d wait, see if anything banded me there and made me want to stay. But over that last few weeks, being here, as it had the last few places, was like falling asleep at the wheel of a directionless car. It was rapidly becoming uninteresting to me. I wanted to crash into something and be jolted awake. I wanted to be inspired to say, “I’ve arrived. This is where I belong.” Cape Coral wasn’t it. This place was just another stopover on my way to somewhere else.
The week before I’d gotten wind of Julia’s cancer, out of curiosity, I’d spoken with a recruiter about joining the Marines. I thought the service; maybe active duty somewhere in another country might be just what I was looking for. But now Julia was sick — and it wasn’t low blood sugar or some random fatigue syndrome. It was cancer. It hadn’t occurred to me to hire someone, because she wanted me home. I knew how to take care of her best. And though that meant putting my life on hold, I was going.
Besides, I reasoned that without my brother around, going back north would be okay. Al had gotten what he deserved after what he’d done. With his prison term, I didn’t expect to ever see him again. That was how I preferred it.
Toby-inspired Poem
Romeo’s alone tonight
Been dark for so long, when the clouds parted
Romeo tripped over the sun and fell into a cloud
Juliet was the sunshine that warmed him
But Romeo brought the rain. He brought the thunder
Covered her sun and forced it out.
Romeo’s alone tonight
He let Juliet drink the poison down
Now what should have been will never be
He believed the lie
Thought it was best
Sacrificed Juliet for his fate
Juliet showered him with her affections
She tried to break through
But Romeo couldn’t see it. He was blind to it all
She tried to wrap her love around him
But Romeo wore a suit of barbs
It ripped Juliet’s tender hide to shreds
She wanted to stay by his side
Willingly she accepted the bottle of venom
He offered to her lips
Romeo’s alone tonight
He let Juliet drink the poison down
Now what should have been will never be
Toby’s song
When Toby visits Claudia at USC, he tells her he and the band he joined, Young Cranky Old Guys are working on their own music. This was a song he was working on.
You were the girl I thought I could never have
But you were mine not long ago
You took care of me and loved me
Even when all hope was lost
You held my head up and smiled at me
Come home, come home to me
I’ll be whatever you need me to be
Just say you’ll be mine
Maybe you’re not listening now
Maybe you’ve moved on
I have to try one last time to make you understand
There’s a hole in my heart
A hole that no one can fill but you
Come home, come home to me
I’ll be whatever you need me to be
Just say you’ll be mine
I need you here next to me
Caught me with your smile
And made me come undone like no one else ever did
You belong here with me
I’ve been missing you for so long
Come home, come home to me
I’ll be whatever you need me to be
Just say you’ll be mine